Join us as we go into six juicy steps explaining how to turn your inner critic into your biggest cheerleader! We talk about how to create a better relationship with yourself, how to start loving yourself and why, and a big rant that’s going to make you a believer. We give a generous breakdown of how to do the inner work with your thoughts and mindset. Then we share the reframe you need around failure and forgiveness. And we end with a round up of how to nourish your self trust, confidence, and belief, and how to live in your power.

Step 1 – Get Clear on Your Goals aka A Better Relationship with YOU

First and foremost, let’s talk about your most important relationship, the one you have with *yourself.* Let’s think big here. What would this look like in your ideal world? How would you treat yourself? What would that voice in your head say to you? How would you show up for yourself? And what would it feel like to know you have your own back, no matter what?

Let’s get real for a minute here. If you were daydreaming about your future husband, for example, you’d probably have a list of very specific things in mind. But have you ever, for a second, been that intentional with yourself?

This first step is where we begin to reframe your thinking, remind you that you have a choice, and treat this like the top priority goal that it is. It’s about understanding that you have a relationship with your thoughts and yourself. And that’s what we’re ultimately changing. It’s not that you’ll never have negative thoughts or self talk ever again, but you’ll respond to them so much differently.

Step 2 – Start Loving Yourself ASAP

Our Self Love Rant

Let’s get something out of the way right now, self love is productive and self criticism is not. For a moment, drop everything else and just imagine what it would be like to love and accept yourself just as you are in this moment. Not when you reach the next big goal, get the next promotion or crush the next launch. Not when you hit your goal weight or run your first marathon. Right now, as you are, in this very moment. Take a big deep breath, sigh it out, and just feel.

Weird right? We know. And believe me, we can hear the following words in your brain, “but what do I do now?” Okay, just trust us. We know it feels strange but that’s the power of normalizing toxic hustle culture, being surrounded by advertising, and the conscious and subconscious programming we’ve grown up with our whole lives.

Yikes right? And if you wonder if it’s okay to consider letting some of that go, we get it. Let’s further mess with your thinking for a second. In case you thought any of that was actually doing you any favors…. who do you think is *actually* benefiting from you constantly feeling like you’re never enough?

Because we’ll tell you something right now. It’s not you. You never feeling enough is not what motivates you. It’s what makes you feel like crap about yourself. It fuels your anxiety, makes you compare yourself to others, and keeps you stuck in analysis paralysis. It’s what causes you to come up with amazing ideas that never see the light of day because you think they’re not good enough. It’s why no matter how much you learn about confidence, you still doubt yourself on the regular. It makes you second guess yourself constantly. And it’s ultimately what holds you back from your greatest potential.

Loving Yourself Is Proven to Make You More Productive

There’s a whole other discussion that we can have here about thought patterns, habits, and programming from how you grew up (read about it here!). But for now, it’s important to know that self love and compassion has been scientifically proven to make you *more* productive and help you reach your goals.

Create Self Love Rituals to Shift Your Mind and Body

For a full breakdown, we wrote you a whole blog on How to Get Started with Self Love. For the purposes of this article, let’s stick to the highlights! Your mind-body connection is a two way street. So get started ASAP changing your relationship with both. Do this by creating habits that support both your mindset and your physical body. 

Self Love rituals are all about being aware of your own needs and then actually meeting them. Do a daily body scan and see where you notice tightness or tension. Take walks in nature. Get regular exercise. Give yourself a hug. Say “I love you” in the mirror. Stretch. Journal. Breathe. Do the face mask or bubble bath. Do things that bring you joy. Connect with a long lost passion or hobby.

Step 3 – Do the Inner Work

Reprogram Your Subconscious

It’s key to examine your thoughts and beliefs on a conscious and subconscious level, Then we can begin to reprogram them. Realizing you have the power to do this comes first! It’s also helpful to think about having a relationship with your thoughts and beliefs, and seeing it from that perspective.

We will go into more detail on this in our next blog, but for now, start tracking your thoughts and what you regularly think about. Assess your beliefs about yourself. Where did they come from? Is it time for an upgrade?

Next, connect the dots. How do the thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself contribute to your current situation and way of being? Are they helping or hurting?

Finally, let’s get intentional about your choice with your thoughts! And yes you do have this choice. It’s as simple as creating new habits, which ironically is not actually all that easy. But you can surely do it! Which thoughts will support you and help you reach your goals?

Feel free to take some time with this exercise. You may want to journal it out and just let your thoughts flow. This is a great way to tap into your subconscious thoughts that you may not be aware of and see the impact they’re having.

Take Control of Negative Thought Patterns and Beliefs

It may feel impossible, but we promise you that it’s not! We have helped many clients through this process, and we can tell you that it’s possible for you too! If you’d like to read an in-depth case study, check out this one from one of our clients.

You can speak to this voice and get to know yourself on a deeper level. These thoughts don’t have to be gone, but YOU can choose whether you allow them to stick around, or influence your decision making.

The first thing to keep in mind is that changing your thoughts and beliefs is like changing any other habit. And why is that? Because thoughts themselves are habits! So if you believe that you can change your body by what you eat and how you move, let it sink in that changing your thoughts gets to be the same. Neuroscience also tells us that even as adults, you can still rewire your brain!

Step 4  – Forgive Yourself

You’re Doing the Best You Can

You have always done the best you can with the resources and what you knew at the time. They say that when you’re at 40%, if you can show up at 40%, then you’re actually showing up at 100%. Consider how this could be true for you. And remember, the way you talk to yourself about this is the difference between who is running the show – your inner critic or your inner cheerleader.

Reframe Failure and Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made and the things you didn’t know at the time. You’re learning and growing, and you’ll even make new mistakes. This is all okay. Some people even say that the more mistakes you make and the faster you make them, the faster you learn! Failure can be an opinion. So think about what will help you keep going? What mindset will help you move forward? Is there something you need to forgive yourself for in order to do that? Something you need to let go of? And how much better can you feel once you do?

Step 5 – Nourish Your Self Trust, Belief, and Confidence

For us, self trust is holistic and takes into account your mind and body connection. For a full breakdown of How to Trust Yourself, once again we got you covered with our blog! Oftentimes, a well-meaning inner critic is just an inner child who doesn’t trust herself.

Self trust is about knowing yourself, inside and out, and in your mind and body. Take time and space for yourself to reflect, be in stillness, and just notice. Listening to your body’s signals, being in tune with your own gut feelings, and then taking aligned action helps to build trust in yourself on the deepest level. Self trust is also about showing up for yourself and doing what you say you’re going to do. This in turn builds your self belief and confidence.

Cultivating Confidence is also key to shifting your inner critic to your inner cheerleader. We recommended several key mindset shifts to get started, and once again, revisiting that narrative inside your head. We clearly have a lot to say about this topic, so feel free to binge our blog article all about confidence.

Step 6 – Live in Your Power

Living in your power means that you can show up authentically as you are, know your worth, and trust yourself fully. It means you’re there for yourself, supporting your own mind and body. It means that you set boundaries without guilt and you’re in control of your time.

This is *the* transformation, the after effect, and the true measure of your own inner peace and freedom. It’s the result of doing the inner work, shifting your mindset, learning to trust yourself like you never have before, loving yourself fully, and being so clear on what you want.  When you have an inner cheerleader instead of an inner critic, you can do all of these things and more!

If you’ve been with us for any length of time, you’ve probably figured out that this is kind of our passion and our jam! By helping women to do the very things we just covered in this article, we’re changing lives with our coaching. Are you ready to be next?

What’s next?

Sign up for our free email newsletter, Your Well and Whole Week! Each week we share a theme, a question, and a simple wellness practice for your week. When you sign up at this link you’ll also get our free resource to create your own digital vision board!

Looking for more personalized support on this journey?

As we always say, it may be called “the inner work,” but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. We would be honored to be your guides! Book a complimentary session with either of us here. You’ll get tons of value, insight into yourself, and it honestly might just change your life!

Ready to start ASAP?

If you know you’re ready to get started and you’d love to be supported in an intimate 6 week kick start container, we have options for you!! If you’re interested in being part of a small group, join our waitlist for more information. Or if you’d like to get started ASAP, let’s work together 1:1 on your schedule. We’re going to do *all* the inner work together, with everything in this article and SO much more!