What comes up for you when we talk about self love and acceptance? If you’re like most of the women in our world, you might wonder if it’s really okay. You might worry that if you’re not hard on yourself, all of your motivation will evaporate. And you might even realize that after all these years of putting pressure on yourself, you don’t even know what self love looks like! We want to assure you of a few things right off the bat.

Self Love is Productive, Self Criticism is Not

Have you ever noticed that you’d probably never treat your friends like you treat yourself? Or that the things you tell a friend are much kinder than the words you use with yourself? It’s really important to stop and think – what thoughts will actually help you keep going? Probably thoughts of encouragement towards yourself right? And can you see how much it matters to focus on those instead of anything else?

Self Love Motivates You and it’s Science

Self love and compassion has been scientifically proven to make you *more* productive and help you reach your goals. So no worries about that here. We will also continue to remind you that your worth as a person has nothing to do with being productive or reaching goals. It has everything to do with the fact that you’re worthy already.

There’s a whole other discussion that we can have here about thought patterns, habits, and programming from how you grew up (read about it here!)

Self Love Feels Like…

Self love feels like inner peace, being whole, and like you’re finally not fighting against yourself. It feels like a soothing balm that you’ll wonder why you never took the time to try before. It feels like a deep exhale, a sigh of relief. Knowing you’ve got your own back and that you accept yourself means you can finally feel enough as you are right now. In fact, it’s the only thing that allows you to stop the chase, get off the hamster wheel, and take a deep breath.

Self Love is the Key the Unshakable Confidence

We definitely don’t see people talking about this one enough! Women ask us all the time about how to develop confidence. And while there are key mindset shifts and very practical things you can do, it’s totally worth mentioning that the foundation of it all is your relationship with yourself. Believing you’re worthy as you are, accepting and loving yourself means that you are your own hype woman. You have all the inner resources you need, and you can validate yourself. There’s no greater superpower than that!

Okay, I’m Sold! How Do I Start?

If you’re used to being really hard on yourself, this all might sound very foreign. And yet you may also be realizing that it makes total sense. But you also have a fierce inner critic and you’re used to her. You might be thinking, okay that sounds nice for someone else, but how can *I* actually change this?

Thanks for asking, and we get it! Here are a few simple things you can do to get started today. These are small practices that you can do individually, or layer. Over time you will rewire your brain if you create the habit!

10 Ways to Start Loving Yourself

1 – Literally give yourself permission to love yourself as you are, right now

Yes, make this literal and tell yourself these very words. Either in your mind or out loud. You might be thinking, okay so now what? That’s it. Just soak it in even if it feels strange. Very soon you’re going to notice it feels much better than how you’ve been operating. Take a deep breath. You are coming home to yourself!

2- Look in the mirror and say, “I love you!”

No one is looking, just try it 🙂

Stick with us on this one. Your mind-body connection is a two way street! You’re telling yourself and your body that it’s safe and it can soften.

3 – Give yourself a hug

You’d be surprised at how good this feels. And again, it’s that two way mind and body connection we’re talking about! You’re literally teaching your body something new and sending yourself love.

4 – Create affirmations around self acceptance, compassion, and love

They can be really simple. We like to use the reminders app on our phone for this! We’ve each had “I am enough” set as a daily reminder for the last two and a half years, and we have no intention of stopping.

 Here’s a few to get you started:

“I am enough”

“I am learning to accept myself as I am” 

“I am learning to feel worthy right now”

5 – Send yourself love throughout the day

Yes, whenever you think of it! This can look like saying it to yourself in your mind, and maybe also whenever you look in the mirror! “I am sending you so much love.” It can also look like appreciating yourself at different times or stages in your life. For a personal example, that girl who decided to take a big leap, get married, and move to France? I have so much love for her!

6 – Create a mini self love journaling practice

Ask yourself – How can I be 1 % kinder to myself?

For all of our journal lovers out there! And if you’re new to journaling, this is a perfect place to start.

7 – Do a body scan

Get in tune with your body and your needs. Ask your body what it needs, and do your best to meet those needs. Part of loving yourself is not abandoning yourself. It’s getting out of the habit of putting everyone else first and leaving your own needs unmet.

8 – Feel your feelings without judging yourself

For more on this, check out this article here! We go into a lot more detail about emotional regulation, allowing the full range of your feelings without judging yourself, and trusting that they will pass if you don’t avoid them.

9 – Take at least 20 minutes of alone time each day

Use this time for quiet reflection, a walk,  your body scan, or any of the other practices above. Don’t underestimate the power of stillness.

10 – Create your own self love toolkit and routine

This can be a combination of any of the above exercises, or other self care practices of your choice. We would love to hear what’s in your toolkit! Drop us an email or a DM on instagram.

What’s next?

Sign up for our free email newsletter, Your Well and Whole Week! Each week we share a theme, a question, and a simple wellness practice for your week. When you sign up at this link you’ll also get our free resource to create your own digital vision board.

Looking for more personalized support on this journey?

As we always say, it may be called “the inner work,” but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. It’s our honor to be your guides! Book a complimentary session with either of us here. You’ll get tons of value, insight into yourself, and it honestly might just change your life!

Ready to start ASAP?

If you know you’re ready to get started and you’d love to be supported in an intimate 6 week group container, join our waitlist for more information! We’re starting in November!