Flash back to April 2019. Exmouth, Western Australia. 2 pm. In our determination to rewrite what had just been a doozy of a chapter of our lives with a happier ending, we conveniently ignored the fact that this experience was actually going to test us in every way…

We remembered as soon as we stepped foot onto the boat. Sara gets seasick and is actually kind of afraid of the water. I take my sweet old time getting into a pool (and even then, I rarely go in deeper than my waist, and only if its at least 80 degrees F). So what were we doing here, about to plunge into the open ocean?

Now that we’ve got your attention, keep reading to see how we did!

And while you’re at it, we have created a mini guide where you can assess your mindset and coach YOURSELF through fears of your own.

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

Fear, it’s all too familiar, and it’s the killer of dreams. We know it can be scary, but we beg you to stop holding yourself back. Your brain wants to predict and protect, and fear is a natural response to the unknown. But guess what? If you’re wanting to make a change in your life, career, or anything else, that requires doing unfamiliar things. 

You know what they say, if nothing changes, nothing changes. And they’re right. But the thing is, change inherently means leaving your comfort zone and venturing out in the unknown. What if that wasn’t so scary though? What if you could see it when it’s happening so it doesn’t catch you off guard? And what if you could shift your thoughts and mindset around it? 

As per usual, you’re here with us so you don’t have to figure it out on your own! We love to say it, so we’ll say it again. It might be called “the inner work,” but you truly don’t have to do it alone.

Turn Your Fears Into Friends

We should have started with this but, it’s okay to have fears – they have a lot to teach us! The thing is, you just don’t want your fears to be running the show…aka causing you to sabotage yourself. 

Most of the time, your fears just want something for you. They just want to protect you, and that’s natural. You, however, know that there are things you want that you don’t need to be protected from. They mean well, honestly. But they might be related to beliefs that are outdated, distant memories of difficult times in childhood, or just plain ineffective coping mechanisms that aren’t right for your current goals.

So what do you do? Stop thinking it’s “all or nothing,” or “this or that.”  Shift to looking at your situation with an AND mindset. How can you have BOTH what the fear wants for you AND what you want?

Spoiler Alert – Fear Does Not Need to Be Gone

That’s right! You thought fear needed to be gone in order for you to move forward? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many a client has erroneously believed the same thing. So we’re here to tell you right now, it’s not true. 

You CAN take action even if you’re afraid.

Let’s get back to the story…

Flash back to 2019 when Sara and I took our own version of a sabbatical. We were working temporarily in San Diego in what turned out to be a nightmare of a situation. We stuck with it for as long as we could, fantasizing about quitting. And then one night, we immediately started plotting our escape. 

I had been hardcore suppressing my emotions and finally broke down in tears watching a promotional video of some brave girl having a transcendental experience swimming with whale sharks in Western Australia. “After all we’ve been through, and this is what made you cry?” Sara said, bewildered. Yes, it was. And that’s how we decided to book the trip. A month in Australia and a tour to swim with whale sharks.

The “Practice Session”

The practice session in the warm, shallow waters of the exquisite Ningaloo reef provided the exact opposite of what we were about to experience. So when we hit the open water, we froze with fear. The spotter plane alerted the boat to the presence of the whale shark, a horn blew, and without any time to waste we were supposed to just jump right into the open water. 

I couldn’t dip my toes in or get comfortable. I couldn’t think about what or who else might be in the water. I just had to go. And all at once, I remembered one of my favorite quotes at the time, “Sometimes the fear won’t go away, so you’ll have to do it afraid.”

The Happy Ending with a Twist

So we did it, afraid. And guess what? We didn’t die! No, instead we had the experience of a lifetime and the precious memories and photos to go with it. 

Did Sara get seasick and throw up over the side of the boat? Yes.

Did I almost lose a fin, swallow water post coral spawn, panic, and worry that I was going to drown? Also yes.

Did we have to get towed on the final swim and subsequently pulled out of the water by a big, strong man because we were weak and exhausted?

Yes, it’s all true. But those memories are hilarious parts of the story now and were quickly dwarfed by the awe and amazement we felt of the experience as a whole.

The Power of Guidance

Now feels like a really good time to emphasize that we were not doing any of this alone! We had done our research and found a well-rated tour. All of the guides on the tour were trained in life-saving. We utilized the proper safety equipment and knew that we had all the help and support we needed. We just had to show up, jump in, and trust the process.

So there you have it. What’s on the other side of your fears? And how will you feel when you have it instead of letting fear keep you stuck? Obviously there’s a lesson and a parallel for life here, so if you’re looking for support from a coach or two to face your fears, we have to let you know, we got you!

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yo’self

Try this assessment and see which describes your mindset. When you make decisions, are you making them from a place of…

FEAR 🙈

• You tend to catastrophize
• You imagine on the worst case scenario 
• Your mindset is : scarcity

OR

POSSIBILITY 🦋 

• Your thinking is expansive 
• You visualize best case scenario 
• Your mindset is: abundance 

Questions to Coach Yourself Around Fear

Use these questions to help you reset if you feel like fear is in the driver’s seat!

• How can you train yourself to think and make decisions from the positive mindset instead of the negative one? 

• What needs to happen to step over from the negative to the positive? 

• If you’ve been stuck in negativity for a while, what would it look like to get to neutral first? 

• What will help you embrace the belief that you have the power to change your habits and your thought patterns (which are also habits!) 

• What helps you refill your cup, restore your energy, and revitalize your thoughts? And how can you do more of these things? 

• Can you do something that helps you feel like this every day?

What’s Waiting For You on the Other Side

Hopefully we have inspired you to get mindful about what’s waiting for you on the other side of your fears! Knowing that they don’t have to be gone, and you don’t have to attempt to push them aside can make or break your ability to take action. Learning to work with them and see what they want for you, and how to have both this and what you desire is truly game changing. And having tools in your toolbox to coach yourself and shift your mindset is the first step to real change.

We get it, this stuff can be really deep really fast, like plunging into the open ocean. And that can be overwhelming. That’s why we went with a guide! And why we have coaches in real life. Yes, it’s called “the inner work,” but you don’t have to do it alone. Want some support creating an action plan to work with your fears? It’s our honor to be your guides in this journey. Book a free session here!