I’ve waited to do this hike for 12 years and today is finally the day that I’m doing it. It’s November 7, 2024 and I’m full of nervous and excited energy. Admittedly, even though it’s been a dream to do this hike, I don’t think I fully understood what I was getting myself into.

How it started

I decided that since I’m not a big hiker (yet!) that I would do this as a guided trip. I found a company called Adrift Tongariro and booked it for the end of my first week here in New Zealand. The prep leading up to this day honestly made me a bit nervous. The company sent emails of what to bring and there was a waiver to sign. Pretty typical when booking a guided excursion like this.

Well the day finally arrived. And of course I tried to get enough sleep and failed. The jet lag is apparently not over and even though I went to bed early I was wide awake before 5am. I tried to fall back asleep but I was too nervous and excited. By 6am I got up and got ready. I triple checked that I had everything – gloves, beanie, 2L of water, electrolyte drink, sunglasses, sun screen, multiple layers, backpack, hiking boots etc. And then I was out the door and on my way.

I won’t bore you with the details of checking in and getting to the actual trailhead. If you’ve ever signed up for any type of guided activity I’m sure you can imagine what this entails.

Fast forward and we’ve arrived…

The Tongariro Alpine Crossing. A 7-8 hour 1 way hike through volcanic peaks located in the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Tongariro National Park. The weather is changeable, and the landscape can honestly be described as otherworldly. It’s probably some of my favorite landscapes in New Zealand. You can read all about the hike here.

What have I gotten myself into?!

Now even though I’d done my research, I still wasn’t mentally prepared for the difficulty of this hike. It starts out easy enough with paved walkways and flat terrain. But that quickly changes into a steep ascent up what’s known as The Devil’s Staircase, and for good reason. I never wanted to walk up another step in my life after completing this section of the hike. The entire time that you’re going uphill is a mix of stairs and volcanic terrain. I was out of breath within the first 30 seconds and all I could think was “what have I gotten myself into” and “why does it feel like my half marathon training has done nothing for me?”. Aside from the physical aspect of the hike, the mental aspect really got me. I really questioned my ability to complete it if I was already struggling so much. The guides at Adrift Tongariro gave us plenty of opportunity to turn back if we felt we needed to. And I seriously thought about turning back at one point. But I didn’t want to be a quitter. I’ve waited 12 years for this! I had to give it a try no matter what I was feeling.

Otherworldly landscapes and a change in the wind…

After completing the Devil’s Staircase, we eventually made it to the South Crater and the beginning of Red Crater. The landscape was otherworldly. Especially with the change in weather and the cloud cover that moved in while in South Crater. It felt like we were walking on another planet. Something I’ll never get tired of experiencing is the quiet that comes from being in a volcanic landscape like this. There’s this utter peace and tranquility even though what formed the landscape was a harsh and destructive event. 

After hiking through South Crater we began another ascent to Red Crater. We stopped just before the ridge to let our guides gauge the weather. One of our guides went up the ridge a bit to see if the wind was any less higher up. And it was a no go. Standing there just before the ridge, more clouds were moving in and the wind was crazy strong. The next part of the hike would have entailed a steep narrow ascent up a ridge with sheer drops on either side. With the wind as strong as it was, there was a risk of being blown off the ridge. No thank you. Our guide told us that he saw people on the ridge on all fours trying to get over Red Crater to the next part of the hike.

A giant leap outside my comfort zone

Now I consider myself to be a bit of an adventurous person, but not that adventurous. So much to the group’s dismay it was time to turn back. And you know what? I actually wasn’t all that disappointed. Doing this hike was a big stretch for me. A giant leap out of my comfort zone. And the fact that I made it to Mordor was good enough for me! (The areas around South Crater and Red Crater, as well as other parts of Tongariro National Park, were used as the backdrop for Mordor from the Lord of the Rings movies!)

We stopped in South Crater for lunch before heading back the way we came. And again, the only thing I felt was how proud of myself I was. Now yes, if the weather would have been better I would have continued on despite my fear of crossing the ridge no matter what the weather would have been. But I didn’t get the chance and I’m okay with that. I did more of the hike then I thought was possible for me. And again, I’m proud that I did it!

I’m also grateful that I went with a guided tour and that our guides had our safety at the forefront. I’m grateful that they made the call to call it quits. Because sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is quit. I know what you’re thinking “but Sara you’re a coach, aren’t you supposed to believe in yourself and just keep going??”. Not necessarily.

Why it’s good to know your limits

We all need to know our limits. We need to be honest with ourselves about those limits. There are different kinds of limits. Ones that we self impose because of fear, and ones that are there as a protection. 

And on this hike I experienced both. I pushed through the limits that I had set for myself because I thought I wasn’t strong enough, fit enough, or capable. And I listened to the limits that were there to protect myself from harm. Like anything else in life it’s a battle of mindset and balance. And getting super clear with yourself is the key.

Realizing my own strength

I think this hike showed me that despite what I believe my limits are, I’m capable of so much more than I thought. And even though I couldn’t finish the hike, I’m grateful that the decision was made to stay safe and turn around before conditions got any worse. The last thing anyone wants in this situation is to need to be rescued by a helicopter (which btw actually happened to someone from another unguided group because they were unprepared!) 

On a last note, something really good that came out of turning around was that I could actually appreciate the beauty around me that I had missed during the beginning of the hike. I was so focused on putting one foot in front of the other and just making it up the Devil’s Staircase that I couldn’t even focus on what was around me. But now, descending, which is easier in some ways and harder in others (my 35 year old knees were not happy!) I could focus on the beautiful volcanic landscape around me and really take it all in.

What’s next?

Will I attempt this hike again? Maybe someday. But for now I’m basking in the gratitude that I had this opportunity and the pride I feel for myself at what I accomplished. What about you? Have you ever had a similar experience where you were super clear on the difference between quitting because you knew your limits vs. limiting beliefs?

If so, I’d love to connect and hear more about it! Leave me a comment below or send me an email at hello@livewellandwhole.com

-Sara